I've got a beef with fortune cookies. They just aren't fortunes anymore. What kind of fortune is "You are deeply attached to your family and home,"??? Not only is that gross, but it's not a fortune--it's an observation. How can I become emotionally invested in my fortune when it reads, "You are truly admired." Gee thanks. I'm glad you noticed, fortune cookie.

What happened to the good ol' days when fortune cookies made wild, reckless predictions about what may happen to me the moment I leave the chinese restaurant??
"You will find a treasure chest filled with gold under your bed next Tuesday." Now that's a fortune. Think about how good your cookie will taste after reading a fortune like that?? Uh...try sticky sweet? And who cares if it doesn't come true!?!? I'm still going to be filled with anticipation the rest of the week, and quite possibly dissapointment. But I'm fine with that. At least I won't be lulled into a coma after reading "You have firm convictions, stand strong behind them." Gimme the gold cookie, gimme' the gold.